Another Day, Another Traffic Cone 26

Like any other self-respecting publication in the Western hemisphere, we called our antenna specialist. We wanted to find out more about the iPhone 4 and eventually publish a super-well-informed piece. Turns out our specialist doesn’t care – she’s at the beaches of Montauk, with her new boyfriend. She called back from the Lighthouse, where the two read Hölderlin poems to each other. On top of that, she actually owns the iPhone 4, which kind of disqualifies her to blog about it. Disturbingly, when we received her call, the thing seemed to work.

Meanwhile, back in the city, I wonder what we’ll all do with our lives when Apple is no more. Yesterday’s press conference surely was disappointing. I found the company more refreshing when they told customers who didn’t like a product to give it back, go away, and f___ themselves. What’s up with the latest “We love our customers” nonsense?